A Normal Life

  There are times in my life that I wish my children could live normal childhoods. You know, the one in which life is peachy and the roses smell beautiful. One where going outside to play with friends doesn't involve the questions "Are you sure you feel up to it?" and "Have you taken your medicine?"

Most of the time life's challenges are not so great that I wish for normality, I mean, if I were completely honest here I'd say I'm kinda into the weirdness. In situations like our current one, however, I can honestly say I would welcome the chance for my child to live like a normal, healthy, 14 year old, with an emphasis on the healthy part.

  Today is day 2 of his most recent hospital stay and it's relatively safe to say that we'll be here a while longer. While I realize that his diseases and conditions have helped him become the absolutely amazing person that he is today, I'd like to think that even without these issues he would still be wonderful, just a healthy wonderful, a non-bitter wonderful, a non-tired, non-scared wonderful, and I long for that for my beautiful son.

  It's amazing the transformation that occurs when you take a fighter and put him somewhere where he feels he doesn't have to. A few days ago we were out in the sun with friends at an amusement park. Yes, he was tired, & yes we all knew it, but he still felt the need to "look" ok. As I sit and watch him sleep today I can see that all of that pretense is gone. He no longer needs to "look" ok and instead has given in to the rest that his body so desperately needs. The rest that will ideally bring healing, healing that will give him the strength to fight, fight so that he can continue to live, living for a cure that is not to far away.